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Thursday, October 14
i didnt think much today,i got 3 assignments done in 1 hour ! well last night la. I dont know how to describe how i feel at the moment. I feel sick , but my tempreture is fine i keep on comming in and out of the toilet i swear ive got an unknown sickness its killing me. But why now ha? . Ive got another 6 school days until i graduate insyallah i can loose a few kilos before then. I want to take a lot of photos and post them on facebook because at the moment my albums are looking ddamnn plain. Already got my dress for the night and all i need now is my extensions, highheels,make up and smile! im excited about graduating because then ill only have 27 days until malaysia but then im also sad about it because then i might not see my friends again because they'll be busy with their own lives after this but life is life people come people go some people stay. kesihatan cam semakin teruk, i cant eat dinner i just cant eat when im at home. I eat at school a yogurt thats about it.Apart from that its something with vegies in it. sesak nafas pun errr it keeps on coming when i do to much work this never happened before why now! ya allah please give me the strength back. I regret what i did that night maybe thats the cause of my short breaths why are you so stupid AYU! you hate it when people do it you try to stop people from doing it but why why did i do it! i was so fucked up that night i hate myself for it. I swear i wont do it again, i know its not haram but i feel like i am sined! i let so many people down. BUT i promise i wont do it again. i should of known better i have asthma for god sake! ya allah i feel so down. love; "you can yell and argue and prove your point what ever the situation the reply your going to get from me is ILOVEYOU" My status on facebook that was posted before i started work. It means alot to me because so much is explained iinto one sentence. for those who dont quite understand heres the motif or pararaph to that one sentence. i used to talk back to whatever anyone says to me, i dont like causing fights i try to end it. but i suck at it. no matter how much pain i feel when someone hurts me , i cant fight anymore. I just hate fighting . I know its probably obvious who the status was for , i love him alot i cant explain it what he said in the in box its so hard to believe not even apart of me says its true. His not like that, His not at all. i was too weak to fight back , and i want him to be happy. So if it takes me to give him time to be happy again and insyallah we'll be back to normal then ayu sanggup. ANYTHING , absolutely anything to make him happy. Its hard to not text him at night to wish him good night and to remind him to eat , sleep and stress less. I can chuck my fone away, the only time i ever hold it is when i need to look at his photo. rindu memang rindu . but ayu tahu space is what he needs. i need space too because if he feels like shit i will too. Soooooo space is the best option for now. tapi bila space tu dah cukup nanti GODDD i dont know lah the result mungkin all over each other! ahahahah berkepit sana sini tak tahu tak tahu * non sexual* okay so dont think diffirent lah. so back to the status, the only thing i want to tell him in any situation is I LOVE YOU because its like shut up and kiss me la ahahahaha no no no i mean its like i love you definition; i care about you i understand you im here when you need me ill always love you no matter what shut up sayang , i just love you. i care about you your my first priority im dedicated to you thats the reason why i said you can yell and argue and prove your point what ever the situation the reply your going to get from me is ILOVEYOU it takes me alot of time to get angry with someone, i get pissed off and annoyed easily but angry . im really weak with love, i cant solve any problem without crying. I cry because i love you and thats all that matters. "maaf , ku tak bisa hidup tanpa mu. biarkan beribu tahun berlalu ku kan tetap menunggu kerna cinta yang diciptakan terlalu agung - Ayu Kamarmohter (Kamarahman)" i know my malays crap but i hope you understand Thanks for reading guys , one thing i would love to advise to who ever reads this. Please dont give up on love! kesabaran,pengorbanan dan keikhlasan sangat penting dalam sebuah hubungan. |
"The girl who dreams bigs , forgets today remembers tomorrow tough outside so warm inside . 19 educated imature little boo!" So blessed to have such a beautiful family , a paying career and a brain that functions quiet well As life is always known as a journey I would call mine a ride on an ever lasting Roller Coaster. I hope your the last , baby  June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 December 2012 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 The Romance - Ku Ingin Kamu New Version |
