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Friday, June 19
Apart from waking up with completely puffy eyes from crying the whole day yesterday. What else could go wrong today? The weather was shit Rainy dark windy! like useuall get ready for school and drag myself to learn. It was cold, and the first day i felt so lonley, I felt as if i was walking alone and all my friends werent there. First class was maths. To make things worster we had a test on space. Had tears in my eyes becase i was still in pain from the breakup. And i wasnt expecting the test. I swear i didnt do well in it. I could of wrote his name a thousand times instead of writting anwsers to questions. I hate being here, its the reason we broke up. I want to be in Malaysia i hate it here i hate it here. Why wasnt i born in malaysia proudly born happily smiling everyday. Why? is it me, or was the breakup excuse lame? you tell me. I dont want to be in a relationship with anyone, im still shatterd inside. Schools not helping me but i hope it gets better. Im hoping for the best because i feel like im going to start hurting myself. My relationship with mama hasnt been well at all after the phone bill. She hasnt said anything to me, if she does its in a " i dont want to talk to you" voice. I swear i regret calling him that much, when look now, i dont get anything out of it but pain and regret. I took a look at his profile, its change my face is no longer shown on his profile, my name is no where to be seen. Fair enough we have broken up so i dont expect it to be on there. But the who id like to meet part on his profile has shown me how much his changed. He seems to be a diffrent person now. i miss you pesa ...... :( I cried again today, cried myself to sleep so i wouldnt get puffy eyes. woke up and did the everyday routine and sat on myspace for a while didnt get as much comments but got heaps of friend requests. Hate it when they add u but dont comment u. Whats the point in adding then right? Hmm my internet keeps on failing. Stupid weather . hope tomorrws a better day, if not then ill just have to live with it. The pain is still inside me. I dont think i can get anymore stronger im in tight tears now. Why does it hurt so much? i mean, i was expecting it to happen, he was diffirent but it hurts knowing im not his. and he's not mine. Theres no more Faeira , its just wan mohd faisal and ayuazira now. If i were there id give the biggest hug . He doesent know how much im dieing without him. My sweet baby panda. I miss you sayang :( |
"The girl who dreams bigs , forgets today remembers tomorrow tough outside so warm inside . 19 educated imature little boo!" So blessed to have such a beautiful family , a paying career and a brain that functions quiet well As life is always known as a journey I would call mine a ride on an ever lasting Roller Coaster. I hope your the last , baby  June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 December 2012 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 The Romance - Ku Ingin Kamu New Version |
